#this is above all else a story about love

[physalian]

3 More Character Types the World Needs More Of

Or at least, I do.

1. The denied redeemed villain

I need this. So badly right now. So, so, so many “redemption arcs” are half-assed and carry undertones of guilt by the heroes, gaslighting them into thinking the villain “wasn’t all that bad” right before they make some big heroic sacrifice, as if that’s ever enough to make up for the damage that was done.

But you know what I never see? A villain who’s done some awful shit, wakes up to reality, tries to apologize and… is denied. No, it’s not enough to be sorry. No, you’re not absolved of your crimes just because you cry really hard on your knees. Yes, you have to work for it. Yes, even if you work for it for the rest of your whole life, those you hurt are not obligated to forgive you.

Example that sadly did not happen in canon: Enji Todoroki

2. The liar revealed who loses

This fucker lies and cheats his way into his lover’s arms (and liars revealed are always men, because their love interests are always women put in the place of “but he tried really hard and you need to forgive him uwu” unless it’s gay). Similar to above, no, you do not get rewarded just for feeling sorry.

This character builds an entire relationship (and it’s specifically romance that I take such an issue with) on a lie. They are not who they say they are, specifically, they lie about their identity because they know their lover would not let this happen if they knew the truth.

It’s one thing to lie about something inconsequential, or to lie about something unrelated, but to lie deliberately to present yourself as the perfect suitor—and these are never little white lies, these are usually entirely false identities, or secrets so damning that risking the truth could mean arrest or even death—just. Why?

Yeah, okay, you never thought you’d get this far. Cool. You don’t have to tell her the truth, but you have to leave before you trick her into sleeping with you.

It’s just. So squicky. And the lesson always is that he deserves love, that he makes up for it with everything else, that he’s just got a winning personality. She always forgives him, even if they fight about it, it’s so, so predictable.

Examples that did not lose: Aladdin, Evan Hansen

3. The paragon who loses faith

I don’t know that we need a whole bunch of these characters, but so many paragons are painted as heroes with unshakable loyalty to their causes and I’d love to see a devolution of character where they just can’t keep smiling and pretending it’s alright. That there is a limit to how much shit they can take.

They don’t have to go full villain, but maybe they just stop caring, maybe they get cynical, maybe they just don’t show up for work the next day, maybe they’re not there when they’re needed the most.

There’s a few stories I can think of where the masses realize they’ve screwed up and show the hero that their faith has been rewarded (Nolan Bats being one of them) but I mean really a hero who just cannot take it anymore, throws in the towel, and walks away knowing it’s the hardest thing they’ve ever had to do.

Example: (kind of) Captain America

—

Sorry this list is kind of a bummer. It’s a bummer kind of week.

[fandomfixationstation]

Asexual Reader x TWST Characters: Part One! Rewritten

This is a rewrite of earlier posts I once wrote on a different blog. I am revisiting this and trying to improve on what I wrote and once again doing this for myself and other asexuals who lack the content and kindness others get. Writing this for every fanfic I've read where the character breaks up with the reader for being asexual and doing better. 

That said, Everything will be entirely my headcanons and you aren’t required to agree with my interpretations of the characters and story.

Vil Schoenheit

Vil will give you a fond smile, because honestly he’s just happy you are willing to tell him, and that you feel safe enough to do so. He’ll treat you no differently than he has, still being a caring and considerate boyfriend. Since boundaries are the most important thing in any relationship he’s probably going to make sure that he understands your boundaries and make sure that none have changed for you. Or if some boundaries have changed to make sure he understands them and to make mental notes. After all, he knows very well what it’s like to have someone cross boundaries, he absolutely would not want to cross his significant others boundaries and be the source of their discomfort.

Vil has always been one to find different ways to show affection, some more traditional than others. Gifting flowers, brushing your hair, doing each other's nails, greeting you with a kiss to the back of your hand, Taps on the shoulder or wrist to say I love you, holding pinkies, or even pinkie promises. He absolutely cherishes forehead kisses above all else, he’d even lean down for one if requested. He’d find any way to bring a smile to your face because that’s all he really wants, is for you to be happy.

Honestly, I think the longer the relationship goes on, and more specifically as his understanding of asexuality develops. I think Vil slowly comes to the conclusion that all too well describes himself. He comes to enjoy quality time, and other gestures of intimacy that he finds more enriching and cherish worthy. In fact he learns the value of words of affirmation and learns to appreciate them in a new light with his significant other. Because giving sincere compliments and affirmations to someone he cares about deeply feels beautiful and receiving them from the same person ? even more so.

At the end of the day, He’ll always make sure you're comfortable with what he is doing. If you ask him to stop, he’ll listen and stop and make sure you're okay. He mostly just wants someone he can trust and spend his spare time relaxing with. Considering the rest of his time is spent being busy and stressed. So being able to make each other comfortable and spend time resting and relaxing, making each other smile is more than enough for him.

Jamil Viper

Jamil at first might not completely understand, however he is a fantastic listener, so he will let you explain and ask questions to make sure he understands completely. He is very calm and understanding throughout the whole thing. He’ll make sure to ask what is acceptable and what is completely off the table. Regardless of whatever those boundaries may look like he is bothered because at the end of the day he just wants you to be comfortable and happy. To him it's rather simple like that. Because he values your boundaries and your comfort. Much like he wants his significant other to understand and respect his own.

He most certainly shows love in less physical ways, touch isn’t something he is particularly good at. However, he is quite fond of gifting his significant other two things, flowers and food. The flowers are specifically chosen with care, they always have a hidden meaning of their own, and he often doesn’t enjoy cooking for others, for his significant other it is different. He wants to make sure they are well fed and taken care of.

More importantly he is just a sucker for quality time, especially since he is also a busy person. So if you guys are just in the same room spending time together he is very appreciative of that time together. Sometimes that may look like cuddling together and not doing anything for about 30 or 40 minutes. Sometimes that looks like him doing whatever chores he has to get done while talking to you while you do something completely different. Whatever works for the two of you that day or that moment.

Jamil values communication significantly, so i’ll always be communicating what he is doing or what he plans to do, and if you voice your discomfort or disinterest he will absolutely understand and respect that. Especially if you do the same in kind for him when he isn’t comfortable with something. Needless to say he’ll always make sure that the two of you are on the same page.

Floyd Leech

As I once stated before, This to Floyd, Has changed absolutely nothing about your relationship with him. He still gets cuddles? Perfect. He still gets hugs? Even better. He does apologize whenever he does cross a boundary and learns to make up for it and not do it again. He does enjoy physical contact but that doesn’t mean he’s going to cross your boundaries, besides there are different ways to do so. He quite enjoys even the most subtle of touch.

Though, there might be some questions farther down the line that he might have, however that is something he will talk about with his significant other and the two will decide on how you both will handle things moving forward. Because he is considerate about his significant others' wants and thoughts on important and trivial matters. Especially considering how much damage he would create in the hypothetical of someone just being disrespectful towards his significant other, for any reason.

That said, Floyd is more than happy to just spend time with you. That may be pulling you along to pull some prank, go on an adventure of some kind, scare the daylights out of younger students, or maybe just being a cuddle puddle on the floor, either watching something together or talking endlessly about anything and everything. You’d be surprised how philosophical and down to earth Floyd can get sometimes. Oftentimes talks can go for hours and feel very cathartic.

Honestly as long as you enjoy supporting him in whatever he is doing whether that's on the sports team or whatever antics he gets up to he doesn’t mind or care. As long as you are both happy and enjoying life to the fullest. He, far more cares about being able to dance with you under the moonlight and having thought provoking conversation at late hours that ends with you telling him to shut up and go to bed because it's 3 am.

Azul Ashengrotto

The first thing that comes to mind while rewriting this for Azul is that I think he would honestly be relieved. Clears the air for him and removes a lot of self placed expectations from himself. Honestly makes him feel better and helps him relax a little bit in the relationship. Big heart to heart conversation about wants, needs, expectations and boundaries that should leave you both feeling better and more confident with each other.

He will do his best to set aside time to spend time with you, and when he has to cancel plans he often will get you something to make up for it. Not that it’ll solve the problem but he usually does it so he can give it to you in person and spend time with you anyway. Its usually something that you had mentioned needing or wanting or needing a replacement of something. He wants his gifts to be thoughtful, practical and helpful.

Even when it comes to simply cuddling on the couch he’ll make sure you're comfortable and make sure you're okay with where his hands are resting. He enjoys quiet peaceful relaxing time with his significant other. Nothing has to be happening, maybe the radio is on, or the tv. Maybe you're both doing your own things, but just getting to be in each other's presence with no expectation of the other is nice.

Post it note messages. He won't admit how soft he gets when he sees a note you left him. Not to mention he’ll find ways to slip you notes in return. They will always be unapologetically sweet and sappy. Not to mention he’ll find ways to just let you know that he was thinking of you and that he loves and cares about you. Even if it is just a short message saying I love you.

Lilila Vanrouge

Previously I had said Lilia was Asexual, today I say he is still Asexual and very much so polyamorous, No I won’t elaborate on how or why. He is a hopeless romantic by nature and that manifests in many different ways. He will be the most understanding and accommodating and will continue to fall head over heels for you. He’d do many things for those he cares and loves oh so dearly, and you will be able to feel his affections on an emotional level.

Poetry, Love letters, cheesy pickup lines, flowers, cute or thoughtful gifts, he’d even serenade you outside your bedroom window if you let the man. Most of the ways he shows love aren’t very physical to the touch, they are actions of love. Doing laundry for you, or getting you coffee while you're busy. Bringing you something to help you fall asleep on a sleepless night. Telling a story to make you laugh or maybe feel better. He’ll literally sweep you off your feet if you let him.

Consider him inviting you over for afternoon tea on a day off, a harp and piano playing a soft melody as the two of you dance in the gardens peacefully. Honestly he’d probably pull this off at any time of day for as long as it felt magical and enchanting for you. Because at the end of the day he just wants his significant other to feel loved. Ideally the goal for him is for you both to continue to fall in love over and over again.

Cold winter nights will be spent drinking your favorite warm or winter drink of choice, cuddled up together by the fireplace. Lilia softly humming a melody of unknown or forgotten origin. Curled up in more handmade blankets than you can count. This could also apply to cold rainy days.

[dimmadoome]

Yall will do anything but actually take responsibility for what you've created. Fanon is literally that. Canon crested by fans. They're all headcanons created by you, yes. Literally you, the person reading this that has written fanfic and drawn comics and posted your essays. You are the people writing stories and sharing art and making tumblr posts. Each an every person on here, commenting on my post outraged that I like the collicteve works of yourself had had a hand in creating fanon just by existing in the fandom. You all speak with such derison about yourselves and its actually making me laugh.

You actually can find fanon from people of color. Many many different ways. From discord servers to tumblr to twitter and beyond. AO3 Is just an archive for writers. It is not the be all end all of fandom. But, while we are talking about AO3.

It is not a streaming service. It is not youtube. The works there are not paid for. They are made by you and me and a billion other people who only want to share their art. THEY ARE YOUR PEERS, NOT A CONGLOMERATE. This whole response makes it sound like you're all complaining about the fucking disney channel queerbaiting you again. If YOU want more Babs stories. Write them. You dont want racist tropes in your fanfiction? Well howdy do you've already proven you can both write and post to the internet just by responding to this post. Write. Create. Build. Just like the rest of us normal people did when we added onto the fandom. If you want Cass to be more present in stories, write those. Jesus christ yall. This is YOUR baby you're trying to throw out with the bathwater.

At the end of the day, you need to step back and realize that if someone is telling you they like your work and the community you built with your own bare hands. Maybe say, hell yeah. Im glad you like it, instead of acting like you're above your own hard damn work.

Also. As a side note. Im an indigenous trans person. I understand what it means to desperately want to see representation for me and to know that i will likely never be able to make it a reality in any canon works. I find that fanon is more likely to be written by people of color, disabled people and queer people than canon will ever be. Fandom is a bigger and more diverse collective than canon. Which makes me love it more. Because I can have my voice heard. Because you can have your voice heard.

Its new and its beautiful and its ever changing and its so, so much better than almost 100 years of writers having to sanitize themselves for the capitalist elite who need every batboy to look the same and cant let gay characters exist without making it tragic or retconning it every two seconds.

In the end all I can say is this

Fanon is beautiful.

Fanon has more for me than canon does. Likely, if you are not white, not straight, not cis or not able bodied, it also has more for you than canon ever will.

You all deserve to love your community too. If there are racists. Well fuck man, do what everyone else is doing by drowning them out with your own, obviously not problematic the sligtest, content. So go. Fix what youre complaing about. But realize that you are part of the problem. You are part of the collective you are angrily decrying and nothing you can say will change anything unless you put your hands to paper and actually start working for the changes you want to see.

Hot take but I prefer fanon Batfam to Canon batfam because at least fanon does its best to give each of the batfam very distinct personalities and looks.

I love living in a world where blue eyed black haired white boy doesn't describe half the group, ya know?

[queenrizzardnthelizardscissored]

finally wrote out what i hated about DATV lore [SPOILERS]

my problem isn't really the lore in particular. like any answer to the question of "who is andraste" or "what the blight is" would be unsatisfying. it's that its there at all and super heavily focused on. like, the thing i loved about Origins is that it's not really about the blight. it's about political turmoil and a traitor whose fear of cooperation ends up dooming the nation, and the origins reinforce this. City elf in particular has a just brutal intro that focuses entirely on the politics and inequality of the society, as well as the community that forms to help support them. The mage origin is equally brutal, with your friend being sentenced to lobotomization for basically no reason, and again your friendship (or perhaps betrayal) despite the fact that every hint of community is cracked down upon. The influence of andrastianism is omnipresent and heavily politicized. Every group but human noble faces persecution in some way, and even the human noble is sort of treated as dead the instant they join the wardens. their role is very narrow and departure from that role is fucked. What you fight in origins is, by and large, not the blight! you fight the dwarvhen nobility who are stuck in political gridlock even as things get worse, trying to reclaim their past glory. you fight the templars who are so blinded by fear and by their duty that they are willing to slaughter men women and children wholesale. you fight the retributive (maybe justified) cruelty of the dailish clan and their rightful fear of outsiders. you fight political corruption and graft and a leader who is willing to sell his OWN PEOPLE into slavery for what he claims is the good of all.

then in 2, you're just some refugee mercenary struggling to stay afloat in a foreign city, surrounding themselves with a support group that's also fucked up, trying to keep the city and their family (new and old) together. Yes, there's the bit about the red lyrium, but even then, meredith doesn't really go insane just because of it. It's because of the turmoil initially sparked by, well, a number of things; the blight, the qunari presence and subsequent invasion, an influx of refugees, and the mage crisis, which is a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts - the mages are performing blood magic out of desperation, so she restricts them more, so they get more desperate, so she restricts them more, and so on, not to mention the influence of religious extremism and fundamentalism. we get to see the radicalization of everyone in your party as the world seems to get more and more dark, as your family/group splinters, but is held together almost by the fact that they have nowhere else to go, that they need support. characters fight, make each other worse. they are also all individuals, all their own people, struggling against each other and against society. the crimes of individuals are both tied to political turmoil and trauma and also uniquely their own. The story is so tragic, and all the tragedy comes from PEOPLE. the insufficient evacuation before the blight, Loghain's abandonment on the field, then isabela's theft of the tome and the qunari fanaticism and fear of punishment that keeps them there, the fear of the unknown and the andrastian zealotry that stokes the flames of both qunari tensions and hatred against mages and the elvhen. We also see that there exist communities, that this hatred is not universal; anders provides free healing in his clinic and it is so beloved that the community bands together to protect him. it's also my favorite game in the series for the above reasons, the helplessness your character feels and the tragedy of their lives in general.

Inquisition starts to lose the plot, but i've always seen corypheus and the evil blight guys not so much as villains in their own right as much as a force that needs to be arrayed against, a la blight in DAO. there's scenes like the winter palace where rascism, classism, and xenophobia are major issues, in a horrific society that burns alienages and treats elvhen only slightly better than slaves. and thennnn they start to kind of go off the rails with weird lore stuff - but even then. even then. we have the tevinter mage driven mad by his son's terminal illness, willing to do anything, but also tinged by the cult of exceptionalism from his homeland, his belief that he is rightfully justified to do anything and everything because he and his people are superior. we have samson (who SHOULD HAVE BEEN CULLEN. Come on. it works so much better if the guy we've built up across 2 prior games as hating mages is the one to do it here) who is motivated not even purely by hatred of mages but by the way the chantry treats their templars, by the way they are thrown aside after and left to rot after they serve the purpose. there's the town councillor who sells her own people into slavery in an effort to keep the town afloat and people alive in the middle of a civil war that threatens their wellbeing. there's the mayor who floods a massive area and murders countless in an attempt to save more lives by preventing the spread of illness. None of these characters are super-gods, nor does all this 'deep lore' matters. what matters is the culture, the mores of the society, the zealotry and belief and disbelief.

what im trying to say i guess is that andrastianism is interesting not because of any objective reality/did the maker actually exist guys??? questions, but because of the cultural effects it has. like leilana thinking she's chosen in DAO, like the templars thinking they're performing a holy duty, like the oppression of other religions, like the multiple exalted marches and the schism between the southern and northern chantries, like the xenophobia in DA2, and, in something that i feel that inquisition underexplores, the sheer and utter fervor that convinces hundrds of thousands of people to join something called 'The Inqusition' under a person they believe is chosen by their god. The same thing is true for the dailish, especially given they've been opressed and fucked over, driven out of their lands. An interesting part about Solas in inquisition for me was his inability to understand cultural change and his fixed idea of what the world is: the valasslin as slave-markings stuff was really interesting to me because of the cultural connotations, how they changed from slave-markings to symbols of a people over time through reclamation and simple loss of knowledge, how they evolved, and then how Solas can only see their initial meaning without understnading that their cultural meanings and connotations have shifted, that they now symbolize freedom from humans and a distinct cultural tradition, an effort to maintain an identity even as the world punishes them for it. And of course there's the dwarven, living in the ruins of their past empire, constantly holding back the tide of the darkspawn thanklessly, while also getting wealthy off of the money provided by the fact they are the sole source of lyrium, and the qunari, with their quasi-fascist, fundamentalist society that is so utterly alien to almost every other character.

But in this game they ignore all that and focus entirely on the objective 'is this statement true' thing. it shouldn't have mattered for the stories in Dragon Age WHO the enavuris are, were they evil or not. It shouldn't have mattered that andraste is mythal. what should have mattered is political tensions, rascism, xenophobia, slavery, trying to build a better world even as hope seems dim. That's what I loved about DA2 - all the bright spots in kirkwall even as the world is fucked, like the literal lantern Anders lights for his free clinic, and in DAO and DAI it's much the same - your character is a bright spot, of sorts, trying to make the world better or acting as a source of hope. An ordinary person dealing with extraordinary things. But these extraordinary things themselves are not usually directly the magic or the blight or corypheus, those things are just the catalyst. They are forces arrayed against a fragile society, toppling the inbuilt power structures and straining value systems to their limits. Telling us that everything was the ancient elves all along is hackneyed and lame, but it's also useless (or it should be.) What does it matter what the elves were or who the maker was or if the golden city is actually what it is? what matters is that people think the maker is real and spirits were made by Him, the elves think the enavuris/creators were gods, the templars think mages and demons are dangerous, etc, etc.

And htis is where DAVs writing really falls apart. Lots of people have talked about this, so im going to keep it short. First and most obviously is rascism is gone from the world, basically. your character is an elf and yet despite the game taking place in the 'all elves are put into slavery' country, no one gives a shit. And then of course is the fact that no one gives a shit about these massive revelations, and are all easily believed, and that the dailish so easily turn on their gods. But beyond all these problems is a bigger one:

WE SHOULDNT HAVE BEEN DEALING WITH GODS.

this was a mistake first made in inquisition, but fucked up more and more in this game. This series has NEVER been about gods, never been about these things, which is for the better; there is SO MUCH FANTASY talking about gods and stuff. Here, though - oh actually this god is now evil and now we're dealing with two blights at once etc etc etc. Worse even than the fact that this ruins the entirety of the lore and the core conceit of dragon age as a deconstruction of fantasy tropes and a more grounded universe is the fact it ruins the power levels and the fact the interesting things of the previous games are gone. In DAO we spent a whole game trying to kill one archdemon, and it takes cooperation from the elvhen and dwarven and the mages and the actual nobility and banns of Ferelden, and then a character either DIES TRYING or is saved by a dubiously moral ritual, and EITHER WAY IS IMMORTALIZED IN HISTORY FOR IT in a massive tomb in weisshaupt. In this game? we kill TWO archdemons in one game and no one BLINKS. We fight elvhen gods, oh, just another day at the office. ALL OF THE SOUTH IS OBLITERATED and almost every character from the previous 3 games is dead? oh. yeah. that's normal dude. no one seems to even give a shit that that happened.

Solas is an interesting character on his own, but they should've made him useful and powerful in a different way. in trespasser, he has spies all over the place, a whole power network, and he's doing so subtly. he makes an effort to save people even as he tears the world apart. now, though? he's on his own and evil and immensely powerful. How does this tie in to any cultural aspects? how is he a personable evil that navigates cultures and societies and religions? he's just one dude out to fuck up/fix the world.

this was too long but i had to get it all out.

[anemoiashifts]

manifestation tips.

focusing on desired outcome. ｡𖦹°‧

── .✦ the most important thing that needs to be understood. as long as i know something to be true, then everything else is irrelevant. all of these “tips” (i guess you can call these tips ?) will revolve around that concept.

avoiding mirrors. ｡𖦹°‧

── .✦ this one is specific to manifesting appearance changes. I don’t like to talk about my personal life a lot on here so to preface, i have an eating disorder & have experienced hair loss from malnutrition so ive been losing some hair volume. this has lead me to manifesting healthier, thicker hair.

doing things to keep my hair out of my sight like keeping my hair back or avoiding mirrors & looking at myself in photographs helps “keep me on track” when manifesting so im not pulled back into the 3d.

limit phone usage / television. ｡𖦹°‧

── .✦ you know that audio that goes “remember this isn’t a story, this is our future” & then shows something dystopian ? yeah, that manifesting. granted, it’s fear based but it’s putting that idea in your head.

there are so many things being fed to you through television, social media & marketing that are designed to keep us distracted & insecure.

making my own subliminals. ｡𖦹°‧

── .✦ making my own subliminals has helped me so so much. that way, i have control of what im consuming — like i mentioned above briefly. while affirmations like “i have no ___” & “i don’t ___” can work for some, focusing on the desired outcome helps me the most.

for example: “i have no acne” vs “i have clear skin”. one is focusing on living in your desired outcome, which is where you want to be.

people don’t love it when i say this, but most subliminal on youtube aren’t actual true subliminals. subliminals are audio converted to frequency. most of them are sped up affirmations — which is fine if that’s what works for you. im not denying that they don’t work & you can’t get results from them, but subliminals help me more rather then supraliminals since they aren’t as distracting for me.

monitoring what music i listen to. ｡𖦹°‧

── .✦ this is kinda like the limiting social media usage but lyrics can sometimes clash with what you’re trying to achieve & can influence a poor mindset. music has the ability to effect mood & im not saying you can’t manifest if you’re depressed or u happy but thinking positively is definitely has an influence on you & how your perceive circumstances.

expect the outcome. ｡𖦹°‧

── .✦ i remember seeing a video someone working on a skateboarding trick. to prepare for the outcome of that person successfully preforming their trick, a bottle of champagne was bought ahead of time.

make sure you are able to picture yourself receiving your manifestation. it’s the “pregnancy analogy”. when you’re pregnant, you have to prepare for a baby by purchasing clothes & supplies & thinking up names. be ready to experience it, prepare for it & expect it to happen.

[wyngigi]

ꕀ LUST FOR LIFE ꕀ 04

↳ sex money feelings die remastered .ᐟ cross posted on ao3

navigation┆prev┆next

“ they say only the good die young, that just ain't right 'cause we're having too much fun, too much fun tonight ”

↳ synopsis: a group of individuals find that their first taste of freedom in the world brings more obstacles than expected. some of them, find solace by drowning in liquor or in the backseat of somebody else’s car. a lot of them have got to get their shit together. a lot of them won't.

mdni » story contains nsfw content intended for 18+ audiences pairings » member specific, not listed for spoiler purposes ↳󠁪󠁪 ateez x female reader, ateez x ateez ↳ genre » coming of age ↳ word count » 2.3k ↳ general warnings » substance abuse & consumption, sexual content, morally grey characters, unreliable narrators, internalised homophobia, angst, basically every struggle young adolescence can go through ↳ a/n┆i hope u guys love this chapter as much as i do !! a little blast from the past always has me excited <3 p.s let me know which pairings ur rooting for after reading hehe (and yes next chapter we will be back at the party dont worry the drama has just begun)

04⌇memories of summer bring you

As San weaves his way through the crowd, past the drunken bodies of guys and girls alike, he finds himself reminiscing in just how much he had changed the past few years. Was it okay to live a life like he was right now? He’s not too sure. San first thinks of high school, then his thoughts float to you.

San watches the clock tick above his teacher’s desk, mind wandering as he scribbles on his worksheet with a ballpoint pen. He’s trapped in a god-awful environmental science class (which mind you would’ve been a free period instead), courtesy of not taking enough science courses earlier on to hit the credit minimum. It’s torturous, making him study about the world in a stuffy classroom when he could be out there learning by simply living in it.

San might just be a little salty, but the lesson isn’t actually that interesting either, so his mind has been elsewhere the last half hour. He’ll listen when it actually gets important, maybe. First he was daydreaming about buying a motorcycle and speeding off into the sunset, away from this boring sad old town to go live some larger-than-life bullshit.

Then he thought it’d be too lonely to do by himself, so he brainstormed an alternative. If he were ever able to do it, he’d probably try convincing someone to come with him. He hasn’t even finished his senior year, yet his ideas still don’t seem all that crazy to him. It might be farfetched to others, but San disagrees. If you aren’t dreaming big, could it even be considered a dream at all?

Then he starts wondering if his thoughts are too reckless most, if not all of the time, if attempting to move through life hastily would be too irresponsible and could scare the people around him. But he really doesn’t want to miss out on living, San wants to go see and do the things you have to go out of your way to experience. Something you make the journey for to begin with, not just a simple detour.

The type of stuff you have to just hold your breath for and jump into with no regret before it’s too late, the tide retreating, water becoming far too shallow. (He truly wasn’t lying earlier when he said he loves to be on the move, or that the thrill of exploring had always been dangerously enticing to him.) Those mantras, principles, whatever you wish to call them replay in his mind daily. They always have.

San knows the world won’t slow down and wait for him too. He sees it outside the classroom window right now, how the cars still pass down the street as the birds fly high into the sky even if he’s confined to his seat. San is well aware that it’s him who has to be the one to take the leap of faith and choose to start living. The problem is that sometimes he just can’t.

When San would think about the daredevils, adrenaline junkies, risk takers of the world, those who love to live on the edge of things, preparing for their big take off, he’d think of how he would love to be like that someday. Yeah, someday. The difference was he liked staying on the edge too much. Didn’t like the feeling of climbing to the highest point just for the glory if he could end up tipping over, see himself falling down and lose control of everything in the process.

When third period ends San makes his way out of class then down the hall, stopping at his locker so he can drop off the notebook and stationery he no longer needs till after his second lunch break. San knows he has PE next, so he quickly grabs his gym clothes. It’s not that he cares much about being late for it or missing out on any of the “action” though, he only really enjoys it depending on what sport they’re playing.

He likes the sports where his only role is to defend whenever a ball or something comes his way. It’s why he thinks volleyball is torture; trying his best to stay in his position once his team scores but then somebody is already telling him to hurry up and rotate. Those days are just endless cycles of torture. Actually, were. He started to sit in the nurse’s office on those days.

It’s a good thing they’re doing netball today (he doesn’t have any more passes to sit in the med bay now). San has a lot of fun playing it. He’s even claimed the goalkeeper bib before anyone else can so much that whoever he plays with just lets him have it. The people he usually plays with are good enough to the point where the opposing team never even gets to his third of the court.

Goalkeeper suits him for that exact reason, he enjoys getting to win without even having to take a shot with the ball. San liked how it was so much he didn’t think or want to try being a goal attacker or centre. Well, maybe sometimes he did a little. There were a couple instances where he wanted to try a different role for the first time. San had gotten as close as picking up a different position bib even. Thoughts like that were shoved away quickly however, and the bib would end thrown back into the crate. The mere possibility of letting anyone down in case he was terrible outweighed his curiosity (and potential) on multiple occasions.

Failure was a funny thing; it had given him a terrible feeling that would sit in the pit of his stomach or make him so nauseous it was awfully dizzying. The funnier thing was that San had never truly failed at anything in life, simply because he had never tried much to begin with. That was the case, for quite some time in his life as he knew it. He had been growing more than okay with that knowledge as time passed, then one day he wasn’t.

As he turned away from his locker, San spotted you walking the opposite way to your own fourth period class, clearly getting ready to ditch the rest of the day. His heartbeat had sped up and his palms were awfully sweaty but for the first time ever, he shut out every reasoning voice in his head and chose to do something he never had the courage to before.

The two of you were in the same grade, so he had seen you passing by in the hallways always with both earphones in (to drown out everyone else he assumes, you never talked to anyone when you had them in while carrying an almost sorrow expression). Despite how you looked, you would still be humming away to a tune he could never fully quite catch.

He also knew your lunch times were spent eating shitty snacks from the vending machines and that you really liked the strawberry lollipops from the cafeteria (which they only sold every Friday for some fucked up reason, he overheard you complaining about it to your friends in math).

San would also see you after school with all of your cooler, older friends too. You would all huddle around the corner near the bike racks in the parking lot, out of sight from teachers so you could bum cigarettes off of each other. You’d also listen to music while you were there, only with one earphone in though so you could still hear everyone talk. He liked seeing that, you always looked happy and smiley talking to your friends.

The two of you weren’t complete strangers, but nowhere close enough where he could feel safe calling you his friend either. You shared multiple classes with San, greeting him with a small smile when you’d walk by his seat to get to your own (he liked that you’d always say hi to him even when he never did first). The both of you even worked on group projects together, but that wasn’t enough for him. He wanted to know more about you, to take even the smallest peek at the inner workings of your mind. To find out how you always seemed to not care when things went wrong.

He thinks of your reaction when you would fail a test, how you’d simply shrug before shoving the paper into the bottom of your backpack. Immediately after, smiling as you’d turn around to talk to your friends about whatever you all planned to do that weekend. Stuff like that didn’t make much sense to him. Why would you not opt out of hanging out just for one weekend and study harder to do better on the next test like he would?

San supposes that’s what separates the two of you into vastly different worlds, yet he wants nothing more than to just step over that line and join you.

When he had spotted you there, on that humid summer day in early June a feeling had begun to settle into his stomach again. The strange bit was that it didn’t feel humiliating nor demeaning, but there was still something unsettling about it. It felt extremely foreign at first but now, incredibly comforting. Because for once, it didn’t feel like failure.

So, he then decided to call out to you. It was the very first time he had ever greeted you, without you doing it first. Your name exceedingly foreign on his tongue when coming out of his mouth while you weren’t sitting at your desks in a shared class. You had turned around at the noise, both earphones still blasting music into your ears.

Once you had recognised who the voice belonged too, you immediately had taken out both of your earphones with a smile. The tune he had never been able to fully hear, was now playing into the world for him to hear freely. He felt the corners of his mouth beginning to prick upwards at that. Yet with no plan of what words he would say now, San was immediately regretting his choice to speak to you. His fists were balled up in front of him, grip tightening on his clothes ever so slightly as he lowers his eyes down away from you.

The edge he always treads so carefully on was now unstable and he felt it beginning to crack already. You don’t leave him any more time to freak out over it though. When he looks up, he sees you already opening your mouth to say hello in the soft tone you always use, ushering him over.

“Hey, San. You want to come skip with me?”

The cool breeze flowing through the corridor, cooling down his cheeks just had to heat up again when he locked eyes with you, of course they did. Because San had always found everything about you pretty, from the first time he ever saw you. Not a day would there be a doubt in his mind of that. But, in that very moment he found you strikingly beautiful. In a split second, where his brain and his heart finally worked in unison he had responded hurriedly, before he could overthink it and regret it for the rest of his days.

“Yeah, I do. I’ll come along,” As he chucked his gym clothes back into his locker, a switch had been flicked on in his mind. When he turned around and saw you then, one lollipop in your mouth and a second in your hand, held out to him, a realisation had been thrown into his face like a bucket of ice-cold water. San had ultimately discovered that dancing on the edge was fun, yet leaping off it was much better. Even if the water was too shallow down below, San thinks he would be okay with that.

While walking away from the gym and instead down the hall with you by his side, San had spotted your earphones tangled up and peeking out of your backpack. That day, he settled with the fact that maybe it was okay to be a little too reckless, to move a tad too fast. Even if it could scare people, even if it scared him.

If you asked San what made him love that summer far more than the previous ones, he might mention his drunken bike rides with you and your friends, or the nights he spent laying on the beach with you gazing at the stars. Hell, he even liked the part time job he had to take up thanks to the party you helped him throw (which ended in that broken window he had to pay for). Spending a portion of his summer working as a server wasn’t fun in theory but when you’d visit him on his breaks or pick him up after his shifts, San had found it pretty worth it in the end.

He was truly happy in every moment back then; he’s enlightened even now, because all the memories of summer bring you back to him. Despite existing only as a brief moment in his own mind, San is content because whenever he closes his eyes he finds a version of you is there with him. He’s able feel the sun on his bare skin, with your lips pressed against his own again. His favorite bit being when the lingering hint of strawberries followed as you both pulled away.

Yeah, that’s exactly when it was. Three summers ago. When San had first decided it was alright to embrace being him, to be the person he still was today. All thanks to you.

navigation┆prev┆next

[tangledmovielove]

I can’t believe how badly Tangled: The Series treats Flynn Rider. His entire character seems to have been dismantled and warped, and it’s honestly heartbreaking for anyone who loved him in the original movie. Flynn was once a brave, intelligent, and resourceful guy with a complicated past. He put his life on the line for Rapunzel and opened up to her in ways he’d never done with anyone else. And yet, in the series, he’s treated like a punching bag—both literally and emotionally!

Let’s start with the way everyone around him constantly insults him. Rapunzel, who supposedly loves him, just stands by while he’s mocked, belittled, and treated like he doesn’t matter. It’s not just a one-time thing, either; it’s a constant barrage of disrespect from people she cares about. And Rapunzel herself contributes to it! She even draws his face on a punching bag as a joke, which is so cruel and out of character for someone who claims to love him. Who does that to someone they care about?

And it gets even worse. She travels back in time to try and “fix” his personality, as if he’s a problem to be solved, not a person with his own journey and growth. Rapunzel goes to these lengths to change who he is, yet shows no remorse or guilt afterward. In fact, her actions suggest that she sees his entire personality as an inconvenience—something to be “improved” to fit her ideal. That is not love; it’s manipulation. The Flynn we saw in the movie was willing to sacrifice everything for Rapunzel, but in the series, she can’t even respect who he truly is.

The worst offense of all is her rejection of his marriage proposal. In the original movie, they both sacrificed their safety and freedom for each other, and Rapunzel was ready to face any danger just to be with him. Now, the series tries to tell us that marriage would somehow “trap” her, as if committing to Flynn would hold her back. It’s painfully inconsistent, especially when we remember that she was willing to face literal prison for him in the movie. Why is marriage suddenly such a burden to her when Flynn was ready to give everything for her happiness?

Flynn is shown as if he’s just there to revolve around Rapunzel’s life, with his own dreams and desires barely acknowledged. He’s treated like a follower, an accessory, a background character whose feelings and opinions don’t matter. Rapunzel barely considers his perspective, often putting everyone and everything above him, which makes it seem like she’s only with him because he admires her so much—almost as if she enjoys having someone to worship her without actually respecting him in return. It’s sad to watch a character who was once confident and heroic be reduced to a supporting role in his own life.

At this point, it’s clear Flynn deserves better. His love and loyalty are brushed aside, his sacrifices ignored, and his personality demeaned by the very person who once loved him deeply. The Tangled movie showed us a romance built on mutual growth, respect, and sacrifice, but the series has thrown that away for a dynamic that feels toxic and unfair. Flynn deserves a partner who genuinely respects him, who values his thoughts and opinions, and who doesn’t see him as a “fixer-upper” or a prop. Rapunzel doesn’t deserve Flynn if she can’t respect him as an equal.

For all the fans who loved Flynn’s character in Tangled, the series doesn’t do him justice. He’s a complex character who’s more than just a sidekick, and his love story deserves to be one that honors his sacrifices and respects his identity.

I’ve had it (emotional time)

Just… here’s a “Keep reading” if you want to actually see this hell-whole of a post because . .  . if you enjoyed the episode: fantastic. It does actually hurt me inside when we can’t all agree on whether or not an episode is good or not, so if you want to avoid my rant about Eugene’s character in this show, go right ahead. Basically below is a lot of internal screaming and ranting about how Eugene isn’t treated right as a character and he deserves more time and blahblahblah. So … yeah. TL:DR not a fan of this episode.

Weiterlesen

[mvrdermeharder]

Kaiser-goal analysis Part 3: Magnus

This is the final part of my analysis that started out with me trying to make sense of the Kaiser’s goal celebrations, and why they differ from other strikers’. I highly recommend you to read part 1 and part 2 before reading this. Or, at least checking out part 1, if you don’t have that much time

[Tagging u again @pixie05love and @fyeahkainess]

The leadup:

I had left it off with how Kaiser is utterly irrational now, emotions clouding his judgement. This has never occurred to this extreme before, even though he’s been fixating on Isagi for a while now. What I find interesting is that Ness actually comments on Kaiser’s strange and irrational play, and how it doesn’t benefit him. I think this is the first time that Ness has dared to propose an idea or tried to take control in any way.

Kaiser does not give a shit about Ness’ suggestions however: because of his miskick, his offer from real is on the line too. He is feeling it more than ever, the threat of having nothing to his name, of becoming inhuman again. So then he throws it all away, and accepts that he is a “piece of shit”. Discovers his one true ego, his one true desire: to be loved.

(I’m sorry, I’m aware this was me re-narrating the story and what everyone already knows, but it’s very important to be on the same page for the continuation)

Another small thing that I just can’t fit anywhere else: now that Kaiser is playing with cool rationality again, it’s Ness who makes emotional, and desperate plays. But Kaiser now sees that unless the conditions are met for his weapon, it is not worth risking another failure.

Symbolism for love: the moon, the ball, the goal

There is a strong visual connection between Kaiser’s confession to the moon about how he wishes to be loved, and the ball, which will help him accomplish this desire. Look at the placement of the moon and the ball: they are in the same place in their respected panels, and they are (almost) of the same size as well.

And in the panel above, it looks like the ball in motion doesn’t have any details. It resembles the moon. The thing that Kaiser reaches up to, as if it could help him accomplish his desire to be loved. It looks like the “moon” is the ball, but it is not stationary anymore, it’s moving towards the goal, helping Kaiser accomplish his wish.

The act of scoring a goal is aiming for love and receiving it. For now, it’s the only way Kaiser thinks he can be loved, as it is said out loud later on in ch 279.

Celebration

There is an astronomical difference here: directly contrasting the first goal celebration, instead of Kaiser leaning down into the shadows, he is engulfed by light. This light comes from upwards, and ONLY illuminates Kaiser, the background is black otherwise -> darkness ~ night, light ~ moonlight.

He is reaching up for the moon again. Just like in his childhood, he’s reaching up for love.

And he has acquired it for now with this goal. He closes his fist here, he has gotten a grab of the moon, of the love, all thanks to this goal. He looks much more uncomposed in this pose than he ever has so far. It’s cathartic, full of satisfaction and self-fulfillment as he’d acquired his one true wish in that moment.

He’s also not looking for the other players’ reaction. Causing pain and taking pleasure in it doesn’t matter anymore, it’s not the root of his ego. He does not celebrate with sadism any longer, instead he is totally focused on himself, head tipped towards the ground, standing in a pose that is simultaneously solitary and beautiful.

And he doesn’t even face us, the readers either. Nomura and Kaneshiro are indicating that the celebration is solely for Kaiser to have: no one else can get close to observe his celebration, his expressions, and his emotions.

Vines and Ego

Another thing that solidifies how he has found his true ego are the vines. Prior to this, they had been colored white (or green or whatever) … the point is that they are now darker. They look solid, unbreakable. Before - just like his glass chain on the cover for volume 19 – the white vines appear snappable, like you could cut right through them if you tried hard enough: visually indicating his fragile ego. Now they look thornier than ever, stronger, more resistant. Like no one could break his desire to aim for love, his newfound ego.

But what I find interesting is that the black vines do not appear when he’s first changing his playstyle and throwing himself into restriction. They are still white, which clearly indicate that this new mentality is not the right one either: him perceiving himself as a piece of shit who can only live in restriction, is just as a fragile of a mentality is as the one he’d had before (his desire live on as a scar inside others). Even when he prepares to shoot the ball the vines stay white.

They only turn black AS he kicks the ball and as he remembers what he longs for the most = love. After the flashback we can literally see the vines turn gradually darker and stronger.

After his goal, as he revels in “attaining a bit of love”, so the vines stay black for a while.

However, in ch 279, as Kaiser gets the foundation of his existence wrong again (“I can only live by hurting others”) the vines are white as he’s aiming to shoot. They are only dark when the ball is not in his control anymore: when it’s on its own way to the goal = on its way to fulfill Kaiser’s wish for love.

And in ch 283 they are white again… and I’ll be honest, it’s quite difficult to figure out what it could mean. Maybe that after ch 279 Kaiser is pushing himself into the wrong mentality again…? This masochistic view of himself, about how he’s a piece of shit who can never be loved and can only hurt others… how he always SHOULD yearn for love when trying to score a goal, but he can never gain love outside of football.

(At least this is how I personally interpret the inconsistent coloring of the vines…)

Also, a sidenote: as I’ve tried to analyze how the moon symbolizes stuff and how it holds so much importance regarding Kaiser’s story… plus how he wants to gain love through scoring but doesn’t view himself as someone deserving of it outside the pitch… yk what this reminded me of? MICK MOON’S STORY

Yeah…

If you follow me, you will never escape the “Kaiser might end up like Mick Moon” theory.

Interactions with Ness

So, Ness did not assist for the Magnus goal, however he is still happy for Kaiser (“at some point his dreams became mine” + kaiser’s manipulative love-bombing after the goals). So he approaches him, even though Kaiser is keeping his back to him again, instead of being affectionate.

So when Kaiser turns to him over his shoulder we can get a brief look at his eyes: and to me, they look full of pity and sadness…

After that though, he directly turns to Ness to acknowledge him but ultimately breaks things off. And this is important: Ness has a clear view of his face, of his eyes, emotions, all of that. But we readers do not. We can’t see his expressions because it doesn’t matter what Kaiser is feeling while speaking and cutting Ness off. It doesn’t matter whether his face is emotionless, sad, pitying, full of regret…

Because it doesn’t fucking matter FOR NESS. Only the outcome, the words, the results of Kaiser’s words does: that Ness is not needed anymore.

Which implies that this scene's protagonist is NOT Kaiser. It’s Ness. So, it’s fair to assume that he’s going to get a lot of development eventually, because of how this scene’s been constructed specifically around Ness.

And later on, we’re still seeing Ness chasing after the affection that Kaiser usually gives him as a reward, really just confirming my theory about Kaiser love-bombing him intentionally. Ness has been treated this way FOR YEARS, his only connection is Kaiser, his dreams literally depend on him… of course he isn’t just going to give up all that. Of course he still tries to stick to Kaiser, as he does not know how to play football otherwise (and how to exist otherwise…).

(I’ve always found it a bit strange that some ppl were just expecting Ness to immediately side with Isagi, get revenge on Kaiser, or to just get over him during this match… Ness had been manipulated to stay by Kaiser’s side for a looooong while, there is no way he can realistically find himself again that quickly)

Interactions with Isagi

Directly contrasting his break-up with Ness, we see Kaiser’s face more clearly than ever: it is not covered by his hair, as he’s intentionally pushing it out of the way to FULLY face Isagi, and his eyes are totally open here instead of his usual half-lidded look (I’m referring to panel to the right).

And this scene not only contrasts with how he interacts with Ness, but it’s also a 180 when we consider his past interactions with Isagi. In my first part, I’ve mentioned how he has either kept his back to him (only turning to belittle), or how after the bicycle kick goal, he looks at Isagi from afar, not bothering to talk to him. He looks at him from underneath his fringe, as he’s trying to cover his frustrations and expressions with his hair.

But now he acknowledges, respects and understands Isagi’s strengths. After all, it is the thing that has catapulted his evolution to score the Magnus.

This respect shows in the way that he doesn’t actually touch Isagi during this new confrontation, they are finally standing eye to eye, challenging each other without trying to belittle through physical contact.

And on a larger scheme, this indicates how he’s able to face a challenge head on now: with respect for his opponents, and the will to aim higher than he is now.

. . .

Whew okay, i'm finally done.

First of all, I'm very sorry that I'm posting this so much later than I had promised. Truth is, I was kind of afraid to start writing this, bc there are already a lot of great posts analyzing this goal specifically... So idk if I could add anything that hasn't been said already xd

But if you've read down this far, i truly love you in the least parasocial way possible. Honestly.

[moominvalleysunset]

Jack & Joker episode 10 thoughts on P'Oh's death

I saw a poster who said they were abandoning the show because of their treatment of Trans characters (Their examples: making P'Saran's character Nulek the butt of a joke and killing off P'Jennies character P'Oh quite gruesomely.) And while I completely understand that this is a sensitive topic, especially right now, where Trans rights are being attacked in many if not almost all parts of the world and the result of the US-election does not bode well for a fair and inclusive future (and as you don't know me, let me emphasize: Trans rights are human rights, end of story!), I cannot agree in this instance. Loooong-ass Essay under the cut, be warned!

First of all, Thai culture is a special case as far as gender, gender identity and gender expression goes, both historically and in the progressive movements that are happening both in Thai society and in the entertainment (specifically the BL) industry. You simply cannot judge it solely by Western (or even other Asian) cultural conventions and standards, and by viewing it even more exclusively through an USA-centric perspective you are not doing anyone any favors.

I think that everyone watching Thai BLs regularily at least knows a little about the underlying cultural issues and practices, but for those who would like to learn more, I would recommend reading Dr. Thomas Baudinette's extremely fascinating and well-researched book Boys Love Media in Thailand (https://thomasbaudinette.com/boys-love-media-in-thailand-2022-3/) , where he also touches on the development of presenting trans and genderqueer characters in Thai TV and film (though only up until 2021/22, and the last two years have seen significantly more progress, diversity and inclusivity in Thai media both in front of and just as if not more importantly, behind the camera.) It's a great read, and I'm looking forward to the updated edition coming out next year. Or at least read a Wikipedia article or two about the subject if you haven't already, it's extremely interesting!

Now secondly, I want to take a look at the narrative. First of all, the two trans/genderqueer characters mentioned above are not the only ones in the show. We have Nulek's friend Pharao, Joke's disguise as Jessie (not a girl but a genderqueer person in drag, and emphatically NOT a caricature), Arun as a femme character and not to forget P'Oh's business – and maybe life – partner, a Trans man. Neither of them has been singled out, ridiculed or punished for their not conforming to any hetero- or cisnormative standards in the story (except for Arun by his dad, and nowhere is this presented as anything but reprehensible behaviour by a father). They are normal people struggling with social injustice and mundane problems, like anyone else. Which brings me to the first of the two instances mentioned, Nulek. While I understand that leaving them at a trash heap (I think we all can agree that getting them out of the way was just a plot thing that needed to happen) might raise some hackles, they are not the only one left there. The – very cismale – driver that Joke impersonated was also left at the landfill, so it is maybe not all that symbolic? Especially because Nulek and Arun's other subordinate Pharao get their comeuppance later on when they get their wonderfully petty revenge on their fallen boss. They have gained agency, rightfully enjoy their upper hand and are again not being ridiculed by the narrative.

And now P' Oh, played by the wonderful P'Jennie. I am horribly saddened by her senseless death, angry and frustrated, because it was so preventable and unfair, but her being Trans is not the most important part here IMO. She was trying, she was struggling, she was failing, she was succeeding, she was funny and sassy and beautiful and a smart businesswoman, and she was the only character apart from the mains, Toi Ting and Ama (who were not spared, either), whose death would send a big enough shockwave through the community to finally rattle them into fighting back  (but also leave the mains able to function and not utterly paralyse them in grief). That's why neither Toi Ting's dad nor Tattoo's mom were viable options. P'Oh was respected and liked in her community. Having her die was dark as fuck, but narratively speaking IMO necessary, and she didn't die because she was Trans. She died because she was the only character whose death would have the right amount of repercussions. So I cannot agree with the other poster that killing her was "shitting on Trans women". Really not.

Thirdly, we have to leave the show and look beyond, behind the camera. These people are longtime collaborators and by all accounts great friends and business partners. P'Jennie is a star who has written lakorn and BL history with her roles. There is nothing but love and respect for her from the makers of the show, you can be sure of that. And I would really like to hear her speak about her character and her role here. And Nuleks actor P'Saran and their friend Pharao have been collaborating with War, Yin and their managers since the first En of Love Anthology in 2019/20. YWPBs managers P'Go and P'Aun themselves can be read as femme. YWPBs work environment and the people they choose to collaborate with seem to be progressive, inclusive, diverse and definititely neither cisheteronormative nor tone-deaf to social issues, as we can see in all their works and public presence. Even more so in War and Yin themselves and in what they choose to say, do and stand for publicly. Are they all perfect? No (who is?), but it seems to me that they are trying really hard to do what's right.

So while I of course understand why someone could be triggered, angry and disappointed at what they see as yet another instance of a Trans character being treated unfairly, I would argue that here this anger might be misdirected and this reading neither does justice to the characters, the narrative, the actors and makers of this show nor to the very real issues Trans and genderqueer people still face in Thailand and around the world.

If you made it this far, thank you for reading my essay/rant and I would be extremely interested in what you have to say in return!

[samwwise]

there are so many different kinds of love, and literally every single one of them can be found in lord of the rings. good night

[griddleharkbrainrot]

You have brought this upon yourselves

Tagging the people who reblogged this so they can read the final product: @commanderbabygirl @shoot-i-messed-up @kuronekofe-ao3 @yourinfernaimajesty @kneehighrainbowsocks @cipher-fresh @fashion-foxy

Before I begin I would like to clarify that this is about how Batman is a trans allegory, whether the character himself is or is not trans is up to the reader's interpretation.

First I would like to break down some key elements of the character Batman

Dresses up at night as a different persona, with a different name, voice, and clothing

Thinks of himself as Batman and states that Bruce Wayne is the alter ego and that he is Batman

He spends the day engaging in behaviors contrary to what he truly wishes to do so that people will not doubt his identity and realize that he is Batman

He does not want to act like playboy Bruce Wayne, even stating once that it makes him uncomfortable

He tries to hide being Batman from friends and family because he is afraid of how they will respond and if they will be safe

He views himself as a monster at times for identifying as this thing which is seen as not human

We sometimes see Batman fear that his parents would hate what he has become.

Some people consider Batman a corrupting influence and blame him for Gotham’s problems

Now that we have broken down some key aspects of what makes Batman himself, I would like to tell you a story and let you draw the parallels.

TW Transphobia in the deep south

Sally is a young girl who lives in Alabama. Deep country Alabama where they shoot you if you’re queer cause they can’t have you corrupting the children. Most people don’t call her Sally, they call her Alexander, a name that isn’t hers but she can’t tell them that because it isn’t safe to do so. What if they tell someone else and the secret gets out? What if they accept her but someone finds out they knew and didn’t tell and they shoot them both together? It's far too dangerous for them to know so Sally lets them call her the wrong name even as something chips and breaks in her chest. But at night she is free; in the nearby town there is a bar she likes to sneak out to where she can dress as herself and be known by her own name. For some of the others they like to dress as women for fun and Sally can understand that but for her it's not just a night out, this is her real life. There is a whole other world out there for her at night of people who can truly be themselves. Some are brave enough to be the same person during the day and the night but Sally doesn’t have that option. It isn’t safe for her out here, and so to ward off suspicion Sally buzzes her hair when she wants to shave it out, lowers her voice when she wants to raise it, and dresses hypermasculine because this is the armor she must wear to avoid suspicion. Her parents make her go to church every Sunday and the pastor likes to give speeches about the monsters in the night who are “unnatural and against god”. He warns against the devils who will corrupt you and turn your good-natured children into f*gg*ts. Sally shrinks in her seat while he preaches, knowing that the monster he speaks of is her. Her mother puts a reassuring arm on her shoulder, thinking that the reason Sally is frightened is because she does not want the so-called devils to take her, not knowing her child is one of them. Sally wonders if her mother would hate her if she knew what she was. A mother is supposed to love their children unconditionally, but after all, there is no hate like Christian love.

Apologies if that was triggering for anyone, but I needed to tell it so that you could properly understand. It is not my story (although I did write it) but the story of many young trans people in areas where it is not safe for them to be out of the closet.

Let’s review the previously established characteristics of Batman and draw parallels to the story above and the experience of being trans as a whole.

Dresses up at night as a different persona, with a different name, voice, and clothing

Need I say anything?

Thinks of himself as Batman and states that Bruce Wayne is the alter ego and that he is Batman

I am newname not deadname

He spends the day engaging in behaviors contrary to what he truly wishes to do so that people will not doubt his identity and realize that he is Batman

Protective hypermasculinization/hyperfeminization

He tries to hide being Batman from friends and family because he is afraid of how they will respond and if they will be safe

Not safe to be out as trans and afraid people won’t acccept you

He views himself as a monster at times for identifying as this thing which is seen as not human

Internalized transphobia

We sometimes see Batman fear that his parents would hate what he has become.

Fear that your parents won't accept you as trans

Some people consider Batman a corrupting influence and blame him for Gotham’s problems

The ridiculous idea that transgender people are corrupting children

Let me know if I missed anything or if there are any inconsistencies. Additions are welcome to this post! I am not a batman expert but what little I know was drawing obvious parallels to being trans and so I had to share this mess that has been rattling around in my brain

You guys aren't ready for my analysis on Batman as a trans allegory

[hellinglasses]

Hello!!! I am infinitely curious about all of these, but will restrain myself to two:

holiday shenanigans for polycules and mamas

that lilo and stitch au that grew out of my control

Thank you so much or playing!!!

@blackberrywars​ thank you so much for sending this and here is the holiday shenanigans part and also be welcome to that lilo and stitch au that grew out of my control!! we have found family and also regular family that is also quite close and a complete disregard from what tolkien would think of this!! it's fun!!

also it's important to say that this is heavily influenced by beloved fandom tropes in the silmarillion fandom i could not find to link the origin of, including that caranthir knits, the pointing out the implications of naming your son something that means third finwë (after you and your dad) when you got two younger brothers, realization that findekáno e kanafinwë are pretty much the same name, this particular take in caranthir's affinity for business

so we have melkor!! the story starts when he gets arrested for illegal scientific experimentation. he gets caught creating this creature, carcharoth, which in tolkien works is descibed as a werewolf but tragically involves very little were-ing. so of course, by all intents and purposes, we're treating it as a very large alien doggo with the sharpest teeth. said shap-toothed doggo has, in fact, escaped

melkor gets cut a deal, though: he can get a reduced sentence in a not-so-horrible intergalactic prison if he helps in the capture of his creation, which, as the tracking of the escape pod used is appointing, is headed to arda (which by all intents and purposes, we're treating like modern day earth)

are they sending melkor alone to arda to retrieve carcharoth? hell the fuck no, much like lilo and stitch, we're getting a pleakley to this jumba and it's going to be just as queer as it should!! meet mairon, he works for the galactic federation's office of singular affairs and he's responsible for seeing to it, quietly navigating arda's society in search for carcharoth and making sure melkor doesn’t escape

they share close quarters while working the case!! they have to share an apartment!! they will bicker constantly!! they will also flirt!!

which brings us to the finwëan family (and holy shit that's a lot of people)

for context, here's a simplified family tree!! (these are all elves and the ages are, for all intents and purposes, absolutely for the sake of this)

also, for further context!! fëanor is the son of finwë and miriel, fingolfin and finarfin are the sons of finwë and indis

this is a story about love before everything else

fëanor and nerdanel, his wife, died in a car accident. he was a welder and an artisan and she was a sculpture artist who worked from home. they sold their artistic work on the main street fair on sundays. she went pick him from his late friday shift as they got dinner on the way back

fëanor and his brother fingolfin had their disagreements but loved each other. sometimes they had energetic discussions at family gatherings, then laugh and hug it out. fëanor named maedhros nelyafinwë as a jab on his brother, fingolfin would forever accuse fëanor of stealing the name kanafinwë from him. they would needle each other in a warm, affectionate way and that would be a running joke in the family. they only fought seriously once, eight years ago, when finwë was dying and fëanor refused to sign the DNR order and fingolfin said he and finarfin remained loyal sons; fëanor punched his face in the waiting room. the fight lasted a year. finwë used to be the president of the neighborhood association, fingolfin filling in when his condition worsened. fëanor never had any interest in the association. they ran against each other that next election and it got increasingly ridiculous until they snapped, had a huge argument and made peace during a debate for the election. finarfin was getting increasingly frustrated since he was one of the major people to complain about the other for both of them

maedhros was 18 when his parents died and quits the local college so he can work full time to support his brothers. the expenses of keeping the seven of them fed and the bills paid are piling up and he is holding out so they don't have to sell the house

fingolfin is an english teacher and anairë, his wife, is a nurse. neither of them makes too much, but it’s enough to keep them afloat and have some savings. they have more than once asked maedhros for the fëanorions to move in with them. he doesn’t accept since he feels he can’t neither impose nor make his brothers go through selling the house where their parents lived

finarfin is a counselor at a nonprofit and eärwen is the swim team instructor. not wealthy by any means, but will pick up the kids after school and bring weekly casseroles for dinner with extra groceries

fëanor once joked finarfin and eärwen could have another kid so they would both be ahead on the total of kids count. fingolfin would then say that fëanor could have more kids, but he clearly had the brightest of the bunch. fëanor would reply that fingon has broken his arm at least three times in the last couple years. fingon would remind uncle fëanor that it was "four times in five years” and to “make sure to give him all the credit he deserves.” finrod would say, wisely, that “the year only really starts after finno breaks his arm.”

fingon is three months younger than maglor. has graduated high school and takes classes at the community college, studying to be a social worker. former president of the gsa. runs track competitions. works down the street from maedhros. will bring him coffee on his breaks and talk nonsense to him after a bad day

he also brings the fëanorions movies on sundays as maglor makes his godless sweet/salted popcorn. brings hard liquor in the middle of the night so the grown-ups drink it in the garden. will cheer louder than anyone at maglor's shows and they're also very close friends. does Sports™ with celegorm.

maglor has flunked his last year high school after the death of his parents, so he's still a senior and works when he can on afterschool or summer jobs, but maedhros won't let him neglect his studies to help him. sometimes has barely paying music gigs, which he loves

celegorm is a wholesome, chaotic himbo. is closest to aredhel and curufin. will help old ladies to carry their groceries and teach them slang. plays pranks on deserving teachers at school with aredhel. will punch assholes in the face while laughing. volunteers at a shelter. has had his enormous dog huan since he was 5. when he gets into college will study to be a vet

caranthir is an angry teenager picking fights at school and pushing people away. knits and embroiders and talked back to a teacher who wouldn’t let him bring needles to class since that’s the only way he can concentrate anyway. gets detention. is walking back home alone after and this weird looking, scary dog starts walking behind him. manages to befriend said scary dog and bring him home. maedhros figures he does seem happier than in months, and one more dog isn’t going to strain finances too much. is that a small rottweiler? an overtly angry doberman? maedhros has no idea

curufin adores science and maths. fëanor used to tutor him in those interests, and after his death his brothers teach themselves things so they can keep on teaching him but he's quickly surpassing them. will end older kids bothering him. skipped a grade and is in the same class as galadriel. they're best friends, she is the only person who can play chess with him and those two could probably take over the world together

turgon is the sweetest, awkwardest, most considerate person. wants to be a lawyer. writes articles on the students’ newspaper about the unequal funding of state schools and the drama club budget cuts while crushing heavily on editor in chief elenwë

aredhel is in the roller derby team and the women’s student union with haleth, morwen and lúthien. crushes on Morwen hopelessly and pretty much dies every time she does something really cool. helped organizing a protest against double standards on dress codes and sexualization of teenage girls where everyone came to school wearing shorts. celegrom wore shorts in support

argon is a theater kid

finrod is both that competent and popular to be president of the student council, with glorfindel as vice-president. total overachiever. doesn’t really know what he’s going to be doing with his life yet so collects interests like people collect shells on the beach. has literally joined all the clubs in school at some points and knows Everyone. turgon is exasperated every time they walk the halls together since a five minute corridor cross takes at least ten, as finrod will stop to talk to everyone that greets him. turgon reminds him he has class to attend. finrod will get in class late, smile angelically and not get in trouble for it. in college will be a undeclared major for awhile

angrod in swim team with his friend ecthelion

aegnor is a rebel against all authority except his mom. has no idea what he's doing and that seems to be his plan. fine if finrod wants to be the family overachiever, he wants to have fun. has a lot more in common with him than he realizes. he and caranthir run a forbidden snacks underground ring during school recess

galadriel is 12 and will win arguments with just about anybody. very perceptive

[kanansdume]

I've recently been watching these very interesting Star Wars video essays on YouTube (yeah I know, a rare breed) and it brings up these comments Lucas has made about how he views Star Wars as almost like a silent film in terms of how important the visuals are to him in comparison to the dialogue. But this essay also points out how important Lucas finds all of the "rhyming" moments in his trilogies and the way he utilizes them to remind you of something else for emotional or thematic reasons. And there's so many of them, both in visuals and in dialogue, and it's interesting to consider how important this is to him, the repetition for a purpose as well as the storytelling through visuals above everything else and then to look at Star Wars since the Prequels came out and realize how little has really been able to match up to those ideals since then.

The ONLY thing that's come out since the Prequels that I think really hits these two things the same way is, in fact, Andor. One of the things I noticed about the way people discussed Andor as it was airing in a way I haven't really seen for any of the other shows or films was the visual SYMBOLOGY. So many times I saw people noticing the Imperial cog everywhere, from the aerial shot of Narkina 5 as the prisoners escape to the architecture of Mon Mothma's house. There were people picking up on the use of items in Luthen's shop that are familiar from other things to give this idea that Luthen is from another time, he's attempting to preserve this world he lost, that if you're not looking closely enough you won't notice what he's really saying or doing with this shop. The color choices for the different locations and people got analyzed because the people involved spoke about how they intentionally utilized color to SEND A MESSAGE about the characters and the world. We know that the people who made the costumes and sets really worked hard to treat Star Wars almost like a period drama and study the history of the franchise as if it were a real place so that the things they came up with felt like they belonged in this world everyone knows so well even if it's completely new. And of course there were all of the myriad references to things from Rogue One, the constant repetition of "climb", the sunset on the beach, etc.

Nearly EVERY SHOT in this show was created with so much intention behind it in order to say something meaningful about the characters, the world, this specific story they're in, and the overall saga of Star Wars itself. It's insane how much greater impact this show was able to achieve through the incredibly careful usage of visual symbols and thematic repetitions, much like Lucas did before them. It feels like they didn't just study the history of the galaxy far far away, but they studied the history of STAR WARS and what Lucas was trying to do and say with this story. They peeled back his onion a bit more and were able to create something that really has that same visual feel even when it's not created for a child audience. It also is experimenting with its narrative style through its structure and through Cassian's character being allowed to be somewhat more reactive than proactive, and while that didn't work for everyone, it does feel like it's following in Lucas's footsteps of experimentation through Star Wars. Push the boundaries of what Star Wars is and can be and what you can say with it.

But this only works because they peeled the onion back enough to TRULY understand all of the messages Lucas was sending with it. They got the heart of Star Wars and despite its lack of space wizards, despite the lack of most major characters in the Saga, this was a show that honestly got the message more than just about anything else Star Wars has put out since the Prequels. The choices between selflessness and selfishness, the themes about how you always HAVE to make a choice even when it feels like you don't have any (sometimes ESPECIALLY when it feels like you don't have any), and how important it is to make sure to choose the path of compassion above everything else. The themes of connection to others, the symbiotic circle and the impact even the smallest person can have on world around them, it's RIGHT THERE and it's CENTRAL to Andor's storyline.

So yes, it experiments a little with narrative structure, but it's possibly the most Star Wars thing to exist Revenge of the Sith because it honestly truly GETS what Star Wars was about, both in its themes and in its filmmaking. A lot of people said that Andor didn't feel like Star Wars to them, usually because of the lack of space wizards and the fact that it's not a story aimed at children. But to me, Andor is EXACTLY what Star Wars is and has always been. They're stretching the boundaries of what Star Wars can be, but it's saying the exact same things Star Wars has always said, it's just saying it slightly differently. This doesn't feel like fanfiction to me, not really. Unlike things like the Mandoverse or the books, Andor isn't just taking some of the toys out of the sandbox and going to play with them somewhere else. Andor is IN that sandbox. It's building a slightly different sandcastle, but it's still within the sandbox, using the same sand that Lucas did.

[levitatingbiscuits]

ok but superman as a livestock guardian. lives among his flock, loves them as his own, would die for them without thought, but can't quite be one of them because of his inherent drive to protect them.

and the flock looks at this predator who could rip them apart with ease and loves him. lambs sleeping with the sheepdog while their mothers watch contentedly, even after witnessing him rip the wolves apart. starstruck parents offering up their infants for superman to hold after watching him shatter concrete and rend steel with the same hands he uses to cradle their children.

superman held in place more effectively by his devotion than any collar. always predictable to his enemies, because they always know what he's going to do: save people, no matter what cost to himself.

[bookshelf-in-progress]

I'm approaching the most terrifying part of the Exciting New Story Idea process: Writing it down.

[mc-critical]

1.10 / 1.09